19 Preparing for Lent

picture of dish with ash for ash wednesday

I can’t believe we’re already talking about Lent, can you? In two weeks, we’ll celebrate Ash Wednesday, so I think this is a good opportunity to start making a game plan for Lent. So where do we begin? Ok, before we begin, don’t get hung up on vocabulary. I’m a Catholic and I’m going to use particular words to describe certain spiritual exercises and practices. Don’t let the ghosts of your past distract you. Think about the concepts I’m laying out and substitute your own vocabulary, then give it a try. If you’re not sure, drop me a comment or send me an email to rudy@deaconrudysnotes.org.


Rather that giving something up for Lent, perhaps add something new, like a spiritual exercise or practice? Either way, the point of sacrificing, whether we give something up or we add something, is to help us to stop focusing on ourselves and our lives so that we can focus on Jesus.

Beginning a new spiritual exercise or practice can be uncomfortable. But that’s true for anything new we begin, right? If we start a new diet and exercise program, we can experience some discomfort, soreness and maybe some concern about the time it takes.

The same things can happen in our spiritual life. It might be a little uncomfortable in the beginning, it might even hurt a little, but you work through it to reap the benefits, right. Just like in our physical health, all it takes is a little sacrifice.

Okay. A word about sacrifice. The wife of a friend of mine told me this story. She was born and raised in England, and when she was a teenager, she and her family had the opportunity to listen to a talk given by St. Teresa of Calcutta. After the talk, she was even able to personally visit with Mother Teresa. She was so excited she wanted her father to meet her. So, she bounded like Tigger over to her father as only an excited teenager can do and she pulled her father over to Mother Teresa. As her father approached, he quickly pulled his checkbook, scribbled out a check and handed it to Mother Teresa. She folded the check and put it in her pocket. He asked, “Aren’t you going to look at it?” She told them, “Thank you for your gift, but obviously it didn’t mean much to you, so it probably isn’t going to mean much to me. But thank you for the gesture.” Well, having just been served a heaping plate of humility with a side dish of guilt, he pulled out his checkbook again. This time, she said, as he was writing the check, he shook the whole time! She said you could see the beads of sweat forming on his head. He handed the check over to Mother Teresa. She folded it and put in her pocket. He asked, “Aren’t you going to look at that one?” She said, “I don’t have to. I could tell that was a real sacrifice because it hurt.”

Let me ask you a question. Do you really think that giving up chocolate or soda or wine is a real sacrifice? Well, maybe if you’re an elementary school all except the wine part, maybe that’s a real sacrifice, but for the rest of us – middle school and above. I don’t think so. We’ve got to dig deeper.

Well, the Catholic Church has a treasure trove of spiritual exercises that we can use to help us lead a healthy spiritual life. Often this time of year, we hear a lot about prayer, fasting, and almsgiving. And the beautiful part is that we’re adding this to our lives which means the sacrifice is time.

Let’s start with prayer.

St. Paul tells us that we should pray without ceasing – not just the clergy and the consecrated religious – but all of us (1 Th 5:16-18). How can we do that? One of the ways we can introduce a little more prayer into our lives during Lent is to begin every day with prayer, perhaps with a morning affirmation. I like to say the following three affirmations.

  • Where I am, God is.
  • I am divinely guarded and guided, protected and directed.
  • I am perfect health, every day in every way.

Where I am, God is. This is a great daily affirmation. It’s a reminder to me that no matter where I am, no matter how I feel, no matter how lonely I might feel, I am not alone.

I am divinely guarded and guided, protected and directed. This is also a good reminder that not only am I not alone, but I don’t have to face the challenges of life alone. No matter the obstacle before me, I have access to God’s abundant grace.

I am perfect health, every day in every way. This is really important especially if you are not in the best of health. Look, any doctor will tell you psychology plays a big part in our health. If we think we are old and sick, then we are going to feel old and sick. But it’s not just about illness, right? People of all ages can have a negative self-image. Maybe we tell ourselves we are too fat, too hairy or balding, too pale or too dark, or whatever. But we need to remind ourselves that we are creations of God. The first part of physical, emotional and spiritual healing is to accept who we are and that starts with the body we have. To affirm our body and to love our body is where we begin. And so, we start the day by telling ourselves, “I am perfect health, every day in every way.”

This is just one example of a way we can add more prayer to our lives. But we could do other things, like maybe try to attend a daily mass or we could pray the rosary.

Fasting. Scripture doesn’t say “if you fast,” but, “when you fast.” It seems we’re starting to rediscover the importance of fasting to our overall health. It’s also important for our spiritual health. If you haven’t fasted in a while, then here’s a couple of ground rules. First, if you have a health condition, you should consult with physician. Be sure to tell your physician that your faith is important to you and you want to incorporate fasting as part of your spiritual practice. Your physician should be able to help you design a program that’s right for you.

If you are not under the care of a physician, then how can we start? Well, intermittent fasting can be an effective part of any diet and exercise program, and it can be very helpful as the beginning of a spiritual practice. How can you get started? Well, let me recommend this. Start out your day with a mini fast. Your body is “fasting” while you sleep, so the idea is to extend that fast until lunchtime. Yes, you may have a cup of coffee or tea, but try to avoid eating, and drink plenty of water. Intermittent fasting is a great way to reintroduce fasting into your life. It’s not only good for your physical health, but it’s good for your spiritual health as well.

Alms giving. Many churches provide a box of some kind to help you save your loose change, like a rice bowl or an Ashes to Easter box. These types of savings can help support the charitable and missionary work of your community or a foreign missionary service program, like Friends of los Niños. If your church doesn’t have something like that, then maybe you can set out a cup and encourage your family and visitors too donate their change into this little cup. And then after Lent, donate the money from the cup to your church specifically for some charitable work, or some charitable ministry in your community, better if it’s connected to the church because this is a spiritual exercise. Or you can support another faith-based international ministry, like Friends of Los Niños. For example, let’s say that part of your fast is that you give up going to a high-end coffee shop for your midday gourmet coffee drink. Well, why not take the money you would have spent that day on that high-end beverage and put it in the box? Combining fasting with alms giving – that’s a real dynamic duo! And if you’re giving up a high-end coffee drink, then that money will add up really fast.

This is just a very brief sample of some of the things you can do during Lent. But there are plenty of other things you could do. You could attend the Stations of the Cross which is a powerful and prayerful reflection on Christ’s journey to Calvary. You could try to make it to a daily mass. Lent is also a great time to go to confession. There are so many options, and I know it can be overwhelming. I encourage you to reach out to your pastor or someone on your parish staff for some more ideas in your community. I’ll also have some resources up on the website soon. The point is, now is the time to start thinking about things you can sacrifice, either by removing things from your life or adding spiritual practices to your life, to help you draw closer to Jesus Christ.

Last but not least, you are not alone on your Lenten journey. Be a part of your community. Everyone else is on a similar journey as you. Don’t know many people at your church? Well, Lent is a great time to correct that. At many Catholic parishes, for example, the Knights of Columbus put on fish dinners. These are great opportunities to meet new people in your community and maybe learn about programs going on in your church during Lent.

Homework. After encountering Christ in the Eucharist and in the Word of God proclaimed, I encourage you to reflect on the following.

  1. First, how can you incorporate more prayer, fasting and almsgiving during Lent?
  2. Second, pick something and give it a try this Lent. If you forget, like fasting, that’s ok. Just start again. The point is do something.

Hopefully through our Lenten sacrifice, we will stop just for a little while focusing on our lives and grow closer to Jesus. Got it? Good! May each of us come to know the mercy and the love of Jesus Christ. May Almighty God bless you, Father, Son and Holy Spirit. +Amen!

18 What Are My Priorities

picture of foggy mountain from gondola

Sixth Sunday in Ordinary Time
Reading 1: Jeremiah 17:5-8
Psalm: Psalm 1:1-4, 6
Reading 2: 1 Cor 15:12, 16-20
Gospel: Luke 6:17, 20-26

A few months ago, a friend came over for a visit. One day we decided to check out a nearby mountain. Now it was a very foggy and overcast day, but we decided to go anyway. As our gondola climbed, the fog got so thick you couldn’t see anything- not even the approaching mountain. It looked like our cables were attached to the clouds! Honestly it was a bit freaky.

But then our gondola pierced the clouds and we could finally see the mountain ahead. This was odd! We could see the mountain bathed in sunlight through one window and shrouded in thick clouds through the other window!

Many of us may at times become so overwhelmed by everything going on that we become very unsettled like over money, work, politics, relationships, family, you name it. Our minds can seem like a raging storm. So, we might convince ourselves that getting away will calm us down, and maybe it does – briefly. But when we come home, or perhaps as we’re on our way home, all that stress starts to creep back into our minds and with it a feeling of dread.

Our minds are like that mountain half covered in clouds and half bathed in sunlight. The trick isn’t to get away, but to rise above the clouds and bask in the sunlight and the calm that’s already there. In other words, we need to be mindful to the here-and-now and not allow all that stuff, important as it might be, to cloud our minds.

One of my pastors, the late Fr. Jim Balint, used to ask in meetings, “Is this a Kingdom question?” I think his question is a brilliant. You see, there are many things in life that are important, like our savings, our debt, our retirement, whether or not we should build the wall, among others. Of course, these are important questions. But does your soul hang in the balance? It’s shocking to me that the most trivial of questions can cause Christians to tear up their own bodies with stress, ulcers, liquor or drugs; shocking how many Christians tear each other apart over political questions. It’s as if all eternity rested on the outcome. How much of our lives are shrouded by the clouds?

What then are Kingdom questions?

“Blessed are you who poor, for the kingdom of God is yours.” In other words, it’s ok to earn money and to use it, but use it as a tool for common good. But when you place your faith in money and wealth and power – when money becomes the center of your universe, then, “woe to you who are rich, for you have received your consolation.”

“Blessed are you who are hungry, for you will be satisfied.” It’s ok to eat, of course, but food and beer and wine can be just as addictive as an illicit drug, and just as dangerous. Over indulging – make food and drink the center of your day, and “Woe to you who are filled now, for you will be hungry.”

“Blessed are you who are weeping, for you will laugh.” It’s ok to face our brokenness. And it’s ok to acknowledge that we may need help to do it, be that pastoral counseling or with the help of a professional therapist. We can’t become the people God made us to be if we hide or ignore our pain, or worse yet if we try to cover it up. How many people do you know who always need to be happy? So they go to whatever lengths to be happy – whether that’s shopping, or using drugs, or open sexual relationships. Try as we might, nothing can fill the hole in our hearts except Jesus Christ. That’s why he says, “Woe to you who laugh now, for your will grieve and weep.”

“Blessed are you when people hate you, and when they exclude and insult you, and denounce you as evil on account of the Son of Man.” Well, now more than ever have many of us come to understand this blessed state. How can any Christian in good conscience support any abortion, let alone late-term or at-birth abortions? Yet, how many of us are called “evil” because we don’t support women’s rights? Have you watched the signing ceremony of the New York abortion law? It was eerie, the way they laughed and giggled – everyone patting each other on the back for a job well done. All I can think of is, “Woe to you when all speak well of you, for their ancestors treated the false prophets in this way.”

You see, in today’s Gospel, Jesus gives us examples about what true priorities look like. Yes, there are many “important” questions we need to face. But these questions should not occupy the center of our lives. That’s why we hear in our first reading today from Jeremiah, “Cursed is the one who trusts in human beings, who seeks his strength in flesh…” (ref#). Even our Psalmist tells us, “Blessed are they who hope in the Lord,” (ref#). And St. Paul tells us today that if we believe in Jesus only for our time on earth, then we are the, “most pitiable people,” (ref#). Only Jesus Christ should be our center. And ultimately, our work should be about building up the Kingdom of God, not tearing each other apart over less-important questions – questions that we should be able to agree to disagree over. Remember, is this a Kingdom question?

Our readings today challenge us to rise above the clouds and remind us that if we live our lives with God as the true center, then our lives will have balance and harmony. It’ll be as if we are basking in the sun. Our faithful participation in the Sacraments, but most especially the Eucharist is a moment in which we make the radical statement that we know what our priorities are and about how we choose to live our lives. Jesus, I trust in you!

Homework! After encountering Christ in the Eucharist and in the Word of God proclaimed, I encourage you to reflect on these two thoughts:

  1. Prayerfully think about your life in the light of the beatitudes from today’s Gospel? What are your priorities?
  2. As we start to prepare for Lent, perhaps pick any of the beatitudes and try to mindfully live it in some practical way this week. For example, if you struggle with food addiction or carb addiction, maybe this week you could begin to cut down a little here and a little there. Whatever you do, pick something that works for you. Who knows, this could end up becoming part of your Lenten sacrifice.

I think by doing our homework, we will begin to refocus our priorities and begin to live the life God intended for us more fully. Do you got it? Good!

Before we end, two quick announcements. Later this week I’ll be publishing a podcast with all sorts of suggestions to help us prepare for Lent. Keep an eye out for it! Also, I believe next Thursday is the first day of the special meeting that Pope Francis called with the leaders of the bishops’ conferences from around the world to discuss the sex abuse crisis. Please join me in praying for them now and throughout the week.

Loving and merciful Father. We stand before you a broken people. We beg you for your forgiveness for the evil and the depravity that we have allowed to infest your church. We ask you for the courage to stay and to fight for the Truth. Please send your Holy Spirit over all those participating in the conference next week. Stir the flames of love for your Kingdom in each of them. Bless them with your grace that they act like true shepherds and guard your people from the mouth of the adversary. We also ask for healing over all those affected by the sex abuse scandal and for all of us who through our brokenness are too quick to indulge sin. May we all come to remember what it was like to feel healthy. We ask all this with the loving heart of Mary and in the name of Jesus Christ, your son! +Amen!

The Lord be with you. May almighty God bless you in the name of the Father, and of the Son and of the Holy Spirit. +Amen! May each of us come to know the mercy and the love of Jesus Christ. I wish you all a blessed week!

17 I Didn’t Know What I was Getting Myself Into!

picture of a couple holding hands

Fifth Sunday in Ordinary Time
Reading 1: Is 6:1-2A, 3-8
Psalm: Ps 138:1-5, 7-8
Reading 2: 1 Cor 15:1-11
Gospel: Luke 5:1-11

“I didn’t know what I was getting myself into!”

I can’t tell you how many times I’ve heard people say this in pastoral counseling. Hola! I’m Deacon Rudy Villarreal and I want to reflect on our readings today from the context of relationships, especially with Valentine’s Day around the corner.

Before we get there, let’s review a few ideas. Who made us? God. Why did God make us? To show his goodness and love and to share with us everlasting happiness in heaven. What’s our purpose then? To know, love and serve God in this world. Another way of saying that is that we are called to be in right relation with God and His creation now and for all eternity. In other words, we want to get to heaven and we want to bring somebody with us, right? This is what discipleship is all about.

Over these past two Sundays, we’ve heard about God’s call and our response. Many people are called into a relationship with someone else that either leads to marriage or maybe that they’d hope will lead to marriage. And that relationship journey can be very exciting, right? I just love when a young couple comes up to me and says, “Deacon Rudy, we want to get married because we’re in love.” I don’t mean to poke fun. It’s beautiful, right?

So, you get married and you try to be supportive of each other. For example, we might encourage our partner to get an advanced degree or maybe some other professional credential. Maybe we encourage them because they love what they’re doing or maybe it’s because it will help their career and thus help the family. Either way, part of our role in a relationship is to help the other one develop – to be the best version of themselves. And that’s totally good.

But if all we focus on is our professional selves, we end up being fairly one-dimensional. There’s more to us than the person we are at work. That was true before you got married and it remains true today. So part of our role in the relationship is to help the other develop in other ways and I’m not just talking about diet and exercise. We’re called to help the other grow in their faith.

Now I know some people might say, “Whoa! That can’t be my role. That’s the priest’s job, right?” Often what’s behind this sort of comment is a lack confidence. I think there are a lot of men in particular who are quick to say that “faith” is not their department. It’s their wives who are the spiritual ones – the ones who get us to church – the ones who teach Sunday school. You can almost hear Isaiah’s protest from today’s first reading. “Woe is me, I am doomed! For I am a man of unclean lips…”, (Is 6:5). Or maybe we’re afraid of being embarrassed because of our life before marriage, so maybe our spouse will think we’re being hypocritical if we try to encourage their spiritual life. You can almost hear St. Paul in the second reading trying to justify his role in spreading the Good News. “For I am the least of the apostles, not fit to be called an apostle, because I persecuted the church of God,” (1 Cor 15:9).

Our resistance and even our discomfort is totally understandable. My experience is that many of us weren’t really taught how to share our faith. We feel awkward and uncomfortable talking about Jesus. We’re very good talking about our jobs or things happening at work. But talking about our faith? Holding hands – just the two of us – and praying together? That’s different.

Ok, let’s take a step back for a minute. Life can be messy and the way things turn out may not be what we had in mind when we were young and first dating. Maybe my spouse didn’t become widely successful and independently wealthy. Maybe I thought I’d be a stay-at-home parent, but our finances required me to go work. Maybe because I can’t enjoy some of the things my friends have or go on the kinds of trips they go on. Or maybe my spouse is always traveling for work and when they’re home they’ve got to do some important work-related networking, life golf, so they’re gone a significant percentage of the time. Maybe when they’re home they’re really not home because they’re focused on their computers or their smart phones. Maybe I am start to feel alone or that all the non-financial responsibilities, like cooking, cleaning, grocery shopping, all falls on me. Maybe I start to resent my spouse. Gradually, that idea, that emotion and be a wedge that creates a gap between us.

Then we find ourselves saying to our pastor or someone on the pastoral staff, “I didn’t know what I was getting myself into!”

Somewhere along the way, a couple might lose sight of their first call, the call we hear Jesus give today in the Gospel, to follow Him. They’re first call as a couple was to each other. Their call as a married couple is to help each other become what God made them to be which is first and foremost disciples. So, as we approach Valentine’s Day, I think this is a good opportunity for couples to pause and take a few minutes without any distractions and be present to each other. That means no cell phones, no TV, no smartwatches – nothing that might create a distraction. It’s important to spend time together to reconnect and stay on the path.

I don’t mean to oversimplify things. Perhaps it’s time to acknowledge the need as a couple to not only seek spiritual guidance, but professional help with a reputable Christian marriage and family therapist who values Christian marriage. We need to be open to do what we can to nurture our relationship so that we can to get our relationships back on track. Yes, that might be a little scary, especially if we’ve allowed things to really get out of hand – if we’ve convinced ourselves that divorce is the only logical option. But as Jesus tells Peter in today’s Gospel, “Do not be afraid,” (Lk 5:10). If we really believe – if we really believe that the Eucharist is the body, the blood, the soul and the divinity of Jesus, then we need to put our trust in Him. Jesus, I trust in you! That simple prayer of St. Faustina should always be on our lips.

Homework! Being nourished by the Eucharist and in the Word proclaimed, let’s work on these two points:

  1. Think about your spouse or your significant other, whether they are alive or they’ve passed away, and pray for your them. Pray for God’s grace upon them.
  2. Pray about the ways you can help each other be the people God made you to be.

If you find it difficult to pray for your spouse, that’s ok. I think that’s a sign that somethings wrong and that there is a need for healing and reconciliation. It’s never too late, and you are not alone. So take the opportunity to reach out to your spouse or reach out to someone on the pastoral staff or a reputable Christian marriage and family therapist who values Christian marriage to help you. Remember, answering “the call” starts in our own families. Do you got it? Good! May each of us come to know the mercy and the love of Jesus Christ. In the name of the Father, and of the Son, and of the Holy Spirit. +Amen!

Further Reading:

  1. For Your Marriage
  2. Catechism of the Catholic Church 1605: Holy Scripture affirms that man and woman were created for one another

Photo credit: Picture by Sam Caplat https://www.flickr.com/photos/samcaplat/4521089467.
Creative commons, some rights reserved. Picture license https://creativecommons.org/licenses/by/2.0/. This image was originally posted to Flickr by samcaplat at https://www.flickr.com/photos/39640647@N02/4521089467. It was reviewed on 7 August 2014 by FlickreviewR and was confirmed to be licensed under the terms of the cc-by-2.0.